Why I’m voting for Hillary (triggers abound)
When I was ten years old, I visited my best friend who had
moved to another state some years ago. One night, we were sleeping in the
living room and I woke up to see her father sitting next to me, staring at me.
I instinctively knew I was in danger, so I shifted my body a bit so he would
know I wasn’t asleep. It worked, and he left. I didn’t tell anyone. I was old
enough to understand what had (almost) happened, but not old enough to know how
to handle it. Many years later, he was arrested for molesting a young girl. I
felt partly responsible – would that have happened if I had spoken up all those
years ago?
- 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse;
- Self-report studies show that 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males recall a childhood sexual assault or sexual abuse incident;
- During a one-year period in the U.S., 16% of youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized;
- Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized;
https://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics
- Children are most vulnerable to CSA between the ages of 7 and 13.
In 1992, Donald Trump made the comment “I
am going to be dating her in 10 years. Can you believe it?”. He said this
about a 10 year girl. He sexualized a 10 year old girl.
When I was 12 years old, a friend and I were at the mall and
an older man started following us while rubbing his genitals. We hid in a rack
of clothes until he went away.
When I was 15 years old, I worked at a diner. The “regulars”
(all old men) used to make comments about my breasts while I was working. I
never said anything. I was too embarrassed.
At this same job, the owner’s father grabbed my ass once
while we were really busy. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to get fired.
When I was 17 years old, I was at the movies with friends
when a man in a business suit suddenly sat down next to me and started
masturbating. He was probably counting on me being too scared to do anything,
and while I was indeed terrified, I couldn’t just sit there and let that
happen. So I stood up and loudly announced that I needed more soda, and the man
ran away.
When I was 20 years old, I was at a party and an older man
asked me to hold his baby for a minute. I obliged, and enjoyed entertaining the
little guy. When I gave the baby back, I commented that he seemed to like me,
and his father said “that’s probably because you have large breasts”. I was
offended. I said something (not to him), but was told to drop it because this
person had the power to shut down the party if he wanted to because of the
underage drinkers in attendance. I don’t know who he was or why he had that
power, but I did as I was told.
In June 2014, SSH commissioned a 2,000-person national survey in the USA with surveying firm GfK. The survey found that 65% of all women had experienced street harassment. Among all women, 23% had been sexually touched, 20% had been followed, and 9% had been forced to do something sexual.
http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/statistics/statistics-academic-studies/
In the second presidential debate, Donald Trump denied ever
touching a woman without their permission, despite the leaked tapes showing him
bragging about doing exactly that. Here
is a list of all the sexual assaults that he has been accused of.
When I was 20 years old, I was raped.
When I was 24, I got too drunk at a bar and my best friend
caught some guy trying to get me to leave with him. I don’t know what would
have happened if she hadn’t stopped me.
These are all the experiences I can remember. I don’t really
have any recent examples (I’m 40) because I’ve formed quite the protective bubble
around myself to minimize the risk (as I’m sure many other women have as well).
I avoid being alone outside my house. When I walk to my car alone at night, I
hold my keys in the way we (women) were taught in order to be able to jab a
potential attacker in the eye. When I hike alone in the woods near my house, I
have my phone ready to dial 911 when I see someone that gives me a bad vibe. Do
you think I’m unique? I’m not. It is not some freak occurrence, or some rare
oddity that caused me to spend my youth falling into these unfortunate
situations. All women have these stories. ALL
WOMEN.
This is the most time I’ve ever spent thinking about these
incidents, and remembering how they made me feel. How scared I was. How “less
than” I felt. How I felt like I had no
voice. How I felt like my body was not my own. How simply having a vagina meant
that these assaults were to be expected, because this is how men act.
I forget a lot about my childhood, but not these incidents.
Never these incidents. They will stay with me forever. I can live with them, of
course, and I am generally strong enough to keep these assaults out of the
forefront of my brain. Donald Trump has really fucked that up for me. When I
see him, hear his voice, read his words, all I can think is that he has made
many women feel the same way I have. He has legitimized the practice of
marginalizing women. He treats women as “less than”. Constantly. Practically as
a rule. And somehow he has made it ok for millions of people to want to have
that kind of man as president.
I wrote about my rape after Obama won in 2012 because I
spent that election terrified that a GOP win would result in the reversal of
Roe v. Wade. The “hot topic” that election cycle was old Republican men wanting
to control women’s bodies. I wrote about the impact my rape would have had if I
had gotten pregnant and was not allowed to get an abortion. I remember crying
when Obama won because I was so relieved that women could remain “safe” (ha)
for at least four more years. What’s happening with this election is infinitely
worse.
I’m not voting for Hillary because I need for Donald Trump
not to be president. I’m voting for her because I need for him to no longer be relevant. His constant presence is a
reminder to me of how I rank as a human being in the eyes of many people in
power, as well as to those that support Trump and those like him. While he’s
still dominating the headlines, I won’t be able to forget the millions of
people voting for him despite his truly horrific behavior. While he’s still the
focal point of everything, children will be constantly exposed to these
terrible words and acts that are suddenly acceptable to say and do because the
leader of the free world says and does them.
To be clear, this behavior is unacceptable for any human
being. If something like this came out about Bernie Sanders (the only
politician I’ve ever given money to), he would not get my vote. Period. I don’t
care about Trump’s policies. I don’t care if he would actually make a good
president. None of that is more important than the marginalization of an entire
gender.
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